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Friday, June 13, 2003 ( 9:25 PM ) Melissa  You are The Oracle, from "The Matrix." Wise, kind, honest- is there anything slightly negative about you? You are genuinely supportive of others. Careful not to let people take advantage of you, though. What Matrix Persona Are You? brought to you by Quizilla # Tuesday, June 10, 2003 ( 9:51 PM ) Melissa  You are an eight-winged Archangel! You use your eon-old wisdom to lead the armies of Heaven, should the need arise. You are extremely powerful and a trusted advisor. Most of your time you spent meditating on the riddle of time and space and the purpose of life, and it is not easy to call upon you. What kind of supernatural being are you? brought to you by Quizilla w00t?? A Seraphim ^_^ well sort of anyway ;) *goes off to ponder that* # Saturday, May 31, 2003 ( 11:20 PM ) Melissa  What Is Your Animal Personality? brought to you by Quizilla # ( 1:42 AM ) Melissa Love, Loneliness, and Legitimacy I was watching Angel today, the episode where Jasmine is born, and she’s running havoc all over the place, pretending to be good, and Fred sees her true side, and that all REALLY got me thinking. (yes mock me all you want, of all things, Angel got me thinking :P) I was thinking if it is really possible to be so blinded by love, that you can’t actually see the truth about a person. Okay, wait, I’m wording it wrong from what I’m thinking, is it at all possible to fall in love with someone on the basis of looks? It seem pretty shallow, and all falls back down on the Lust at First Sight theory. I mean personally, okay sure, except celebrities, you can rarely actually know their TRUE personality, as they no doubt keep that private, but I’ve taught myself to be wary of falling for someone on the basis of looks, or to dismiss them on the same premise either. Okay, I just busted myself there, as in the past I was REALLY REALLY shallow, but I guess in my advanced age *cough* ;) but ya, as of the past few years, I’ve changed a lot, looking at people for WHO they are, not WHAT they are… if you understand what I’m trying to say. ^_^ So ya, they whole thing of falling in love with someone on the basis of looks dumbfounds me, especially when you think about it that the only reason that you really fall for someone is due to some serious mental activity, with neural connectors reacting to the chemicals given off by another person, blah blah blah, I won’t bore you with the details, and boom, you like them. And I guess love sortta happens when you get to know the person, and see their personality. Um.. yeah, where was I going with this… We apologise for the break in transmission, there was a point to this part of the rant, but it seems to have escaped the authors mind… Oh yes, that’s it. So with those people that hook up on the basis of just looks, sadly enough, it doesn’t work out. And I’m serious about this, it’s happened to someone in my family. It seems that this one couple were in “love” because they were “beautiful” but as I’m sure it’s pretty much general knowledge, love based on beauty fades as soon as beauty fades. And they experienced this in the worst way, and even though they have a child together, they got divorced =( Now I’m not saying that those people with beauty are destined to be miserable, or us-not-so-pretty-people are going to be happy in love, I’m just saying that you must be careful how/why/when/where you fall for someone. *shrugs* that’s one thing that sortta bugged me with the show today (please keep in mind that all that I’m saying is inspired by the show, hence the oddity of it all) Loneliness. What I found was striking about what was portrayed in the show, was what loneliness TRULLY is. In the past, I never gave loneliness much thought … I didn’t fell like depressing myself, but as far as I was concerned, loneliness was… I dunno how to say this to the full extent of what I was thinking, but pretty much being alone, and having no one around you… and that was the extent of me being able to describe it. But I guess that was a badly flawed thought. A fallacy of note ;) cause if you think about it, even if you are for example, all by yourself, or at a huge family reunion, or at a stadium with 6000 other humans all around, you can in all instances, be lonely. So in hindsight, I guess there’s no such thing as a lonely place, just lonely people. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being lonely, I believe that it’s a pretty good source for the reason why the human race hasn’t frizzled up and died just yet. It ensures the spread of our species. People hook up with other people, and get married, I think for a couple reasons for that is because they’re lonely, horny, or our of money. But mostly because they’re just damn lonely. True, that seems like a pathetic reason to link up with one person for the rest of your existence. But people do it everyday, they give into their loneliness, and next thing they know, they’re trapped. … Okay, I did it again, I think I’ve strayed from what I was trying to say and now I’m floundering the in the woods of my thought, and trying to find where the train went! :P Oh yes… Sometimes, it’s dangerous I guess to enjoy the pleasures of life too much. Dunno why, but I’ve become sortta sceptical over the past couple years about all this sortta stuff. I’ve found that one must be careful when relying on others. I think it was my gran that maybe started it years ago, warning me that I shouldn’t ever let love make me too dependant. But sadly enough, there’s always that loneliness factor. Yes I’m human, and I sense such emotions too (even though I seem pretty cold hearted at times :P ) but yeah, I’ve now after the show today, I’ve deduced that loneliness has got BUGGER ALL to do with the company you keep around you, but people become lonely because they crave the love of others. *shrugs* That’s just the way I reasoned it out in my head. But then, I also somehow got onto another train of thought, does it really pay to love? Your friend one day could be your enemy the next (I’ve seen this happen first hand with Catherine). And sometimes I think, that the only thing you can count on, the only person who'll be there for you at all times, when friends and family fail you... is yourself. Once you see things that way, you'll never be lonely again. Sometimes it seems that being free of love is the greatest source of power and freedom. It also seems that in this world, you can achieve anything if your heart is free. (hence why I walk around all I don’t care about others from time to time) But yeah, that seem a little cold doesn’t it? I mean, lets say in life, you need others to remember you, just so that your life has some meaning. in that case you can’t live your life being all self dependant, you need others there for you, being next to you, and sharing your life every step of the way. And recently, (regardless of the cold “rely ONLY on yourself” stuff I say), I think for once... someone, at least one person in this crazy world would just might remember me, and in a sense, give my life meaning. And it’s in times like that, that I sometimes find it really hard not to love someone back, it’s like it hurts more to not love them back, than it does to love them. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is to be loved, and be loved in return.” ^_^ I guess love truly is the triumph of imagination over intelligence :P I guess, all this in hindsight, it’s safe to say that the truth of the matter is, humans being humans, and really experiencing everything as we should, our emotions are both our greatest tool, our strength, the very thing that makes it worth getting out of bed in the morning and wanting to LIVE LIFE. But on the flip side, it is also our greatest weakness. Making us weak, slaves, to our hearts bidding. The blood screaming inside of us to do it’s behest. And what I’ve found, sometimes it’s best to through caution to the wind, and follow your heart ^_^ Emotions are the language of the soul. Listen to yours Peace out! # Saturday, May 24, 2003 ( 3:23 PM ) Melissa Answers must be song names. 1. Are you male or female? - Bitch >:) (Meredith Brooks) 2. Describe yourself. - A Perfect Life (Glen Phillips) 3. How do some people feel about you? - Angels or Devils (Dishwalla) 4. How do you feel about yourself? - Tucked Away (Goo Goo DOlls) 5. Describe your interest. - Rock the Party (SR71) 6. Where would you rather be? - Take Me Home (Phil COllins) 7. Describe what you want to be. - The Girl Who Wanted To Be God (Manic Street Preachers) 8. Describe how you live. - Stranger by The Day (Shades Apart) 9. Describe how you love. - One Love (U2) 10. Share a few words of wisdom. - How's It Gonna Be? (Third Eye Blind) # Tuesday, May 20, 2003 ( 2:44 PM ) Melissa  Gabe So what Demonology 101 Character Are You? brought to you by Quizilla # Friday, May 16, 2003 ( 12:14 AM ) Melissa
The Ventrue Elegant, aristocratic and regal, the Ventrue are the lords of the Camarilla. It was Clan Ventrue that provided the cornerstone of the Camarilla, and it is Clan Ventrue that directs and coaxes the Camarilla in its darkest hours. Even in the modern age, the majority of princes descend from Clan Ventrue. The Ventrue would, of course, have things no other way. In the tradition of noblesse oblige, the Ventrue must lead the other clans for their own good. In ancient nights, Ventrue were chosen from nobles, merchant princes or other wielders of power. In modern times the clan recruits from wealthy "old-money" families, ruthless corporate climbers, and politicians. Although Ventrue move in the same social circles as the Toreador, they do not fritter away their existences in frivolity and idle chatter. The Ventrue proudly wear the privileges of leadership, and stoically bear its burdens. Thus has it always been; thus shall it always be. # Thursday, May 15, 2003 ( 8:39 PM ) Melissa Forum Thread that inspired this piece What do you believe love is? Okay, well I realise I’m a little young as is, so my whole experience with matters of the heart aren’t that exactly THAT extensive, but I’m going to answer this in a manner that I think is best. As for WHAT love is… *refers to dictionary in true scholarly nature* : adore, cherish, relish, enjoy fancy, what ever you want to call is, I believe it can be boiled down to having warm affection, or delight in another person, or action or thing. I believe it’s both a chemical reaction that occurs in the brain that results along the way into an emotion, through a series of interactions, activities, behaviours, and actions which involves both parties in the connection being made. It’ll start off as a chemical reaction in the brain, releasing endorphins or something like that, making you happy. And what I guess eventually develop into love if this continues, and then it develops into love, in the true link. That feeling you get in the very bottom of your being that filtrates through every part of you, and makes you a happy little life form as a whole ^_^ But I’m no brain-ologist, or whatever, so don’t quote me on that. Love can occur in many instances. Love for your life. Love for yourself. Love for another being. Love for those of your family. Love for pets. Love for activities that you’re participating in. Love is a virtue that you can have for another thing other than yourself. And it rarely happens that any one of these overlap too much in their reactions they create. And once love is experienced, it can be felt through your mind, your soul, not only your heart. Of course, here comes the dilemma (in reference to love for another, as in a boy/girl-friend situation) many find that love is so hard to find, because there is no real agreeable definition of love. This can also be thought of on the grounds of something which I had a wandering thought about the other day. How do you know what love truly is until you’ve at least been with every person on the face of the planet. Both male and female. I mean (except for those lucky enough to have a) escaped the whole teenage angst thing which I seem to be still going through ;) (sorry about that) or have b) found their life partner and couldn’t be happier), it sometimes seems that like one day you may say you love one person. But after some time, things move on, that relationship doesn’t work for whatever reasons, and then you find someone new. Then you can sortta compare the feelings you have for that person to those of previous people you have seen, and either stick to what you believe love to be, or redefine your definition of love on account of what has happened. (As I think that perhaps love is far from objective, and falls more into a subjective category) hopefully you understand what I’m trying to say there, I’m not sure if I can define it any better. And then the height of angst, wondering of the person feels the same about you, and then comes the feelings of that finding a person who feels the same, which some people find virtually impossible. One things for certain, love isn’t simple, it isn’t black and white. It got more colours than the rainbow could ever imagine. Things can both go very very well, or frighteningly wrong. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy in the relationship-state I’m in, I’m just pointing out something that I’ve observed from having too much time on my hands, and pestering my friends on subjects like this for too many years ;) Another thought I had a while back is, is it just me, or does it seem that men have a tendency of falling in love more easily than women. Call me sexist or whatever, but it just seems that I’ve picked up. Maybe I’m interacting with the wrong people, (or possible the right type… depending on how you look at it), or maybe I’m just a little more cold hearted than most others. (also bear in mind that 95% of the people I interact with are male, only constant female interaction that I can have proper conversations with are with my mum, so maybe my view is a little biased), but ya, anyone prepared to give some input into that, I’d appreciate it =) But from personal experiences, I guess I can conclude that when it comes to love: it’s got nothing to do with what you’re expecting to get, but rather, what you’re willing to give. You’re only really truly alive when you’re in love. It’ll prove your kindness, your patience. It make it easier to forgive, forgetting to keep a record of wrongs. Neglects feelings like jealousy, envy, selfishness, and anger. Never delights in evil, and rejoices in truth. It perseveres, protects, trusts, and will never fail. Emotions are the language of the soul. Be careful what you say. ;) (but not forgetting, my close on signature line: Love is a perky little elf… dancing a merry little jig, when all of a sudden, it turns on you with a miniature machine gun. ) Peace out! # |
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