Mel's Thoughts

2003-06-13T21:25:00.000+03:00

You are The Oracle, from "The Matrix."
Wise, kind, honest- is there anything slightly
negative about you? You are genuinely
supportive of others. Careful not to let people
take advantage of you, though.

What Matrix Persona Are You?
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2003-06-10T21:51:00.000+03:00

You are an eight-winged Archangel!
You use your eon-old wisdom to lead the armies of
Heaven, should the need arise. You are
extremely powerful and a trusted advisor. Most
of your time you spent meditating on the riddle
of time and space and the purpose of life, and
it is not easy to call upon you.

What kind of supernatural being are you?
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w00t?? A Seraphim ^_^ well sort of anyway ;) *goes off to ponder that*

2003-05-31T23:20:00.000+03:00

What Is Your Animal Personality?
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2003-05-31T01:42:00.000+03:00

Love, Loneliness, and Legitimacy

I was watching Angel today, the episode where Jasmine is born, and she’s running havoc all over the place, pretending to be good, and Fred sees her true side, and that all REALLY got me thinking. (yes mock me all you want, of all things, Angel got me thinking :P)

I was thinking if it is really possible to be so blinded by love, that you can’t actually see the truth about a person. Okay, wait, I’m wording it wrong from what I’m thinking, is it at all possible to fall in love with someone on the basis of looks? It seem pretty shallow, and all falls back down on the Lust at First Sight theory. I mean personally, okay sure, except celebrities, you can rarely actually know their TRUE personality, as they no doubt keep that private, but I’ve taught myself to be wary of falling for someone on the basis of looks, or to dismiss them on the same premise either. Okay, I just busted myself there, as in the past I was REALLY REALLY shallow, but I guess in my advanced age *cough* ;) but ya, as of the past few years, I’ve changed a lot, looking at people for WHO they are, not WHAT they are… if you understand what I’m trying to say. ^_^ So ya, they whole thing of falling in love with someone on the basis of looks dumbfounds me, especially when you think about it that the only reason that you really fall for someone is due to some serious mental activity, with neural connectors reacting to the chemicals given off by another person, blah blah blah, I won’t bore you with the details, and boom, you like them. And I guess love sortta happens when you get to know the person, and see their personality. Um.. yeah, where was I going with this…

We apologise for the break in transmission, there was a point to this part of the rant, but it seems to have escaped the authors mind…

Oh yes, that’s it. So with those people that hook up on the basis of just looks, sadly enough, it doesn’t work out. And I’m serious about this, it’s happened to someone in my family. It seems that this one couple were in “love” because they were “beautiful” but as I’m sure it’s pretty much general knowledge, love based on beauty fades as soon as beauty fades. And they experienced this in the worst way, and even though they have a child together, they got divorced =( Now I’m not saying that those people with beauty are destined to be miserable, or us-not-so-pretty-people are going to be happy in love, I’m just saying that you must be careful how/why/when/where you fall for someone. *shrugs* that’s one thing that sortta bugged me with the show today (please keep in mind that all that I’m saying is inspired by the show, hence the oddity of it all)

Loneliness. What I found was striking about what was portrayed in the show, was what loneliness TRULLY is. In the past, I never gave loneliness much thought … I didn’t fell like depressing myself, but as far as I was concerned, loneliness was… I dunno how to say this to the full extent of what I was thinking, but pretty much being alone, and having no one around you… and that was the extent of me being able to describe it. But I guess that was a badly flawed thought. A fallacy of note ;) cause if you think about it, even if you are for example, all by yourself, or at a huge family reunion, or at a stadium with 6000 other humans all around, you can in all instances, be lonely. So in hindsight, I guess there’s no such thing as a lonely place, just lonely people. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being lonely, I believe that it’s a pretty good source for the reason why the human race hasn’t frizzled up and died just yet. It ensures the spread of our species. People hook up with other people, and get married, I think for a couple reasons for that is because they’re lonely, horny, or our of money. But mostly because they’re just damn lonely. True, that seems like a pathetic reason to link up with one person for the rest of your existence. But people do it everyday, they give into their loneliness, and next thing they know, they’re trapped. … Okay, I did it again, I think I’ve strayed from what I was trying to say and now I’m floundering the in the woods of my thought, and trying to find where the train went! :P

Oh yes…

Sometimes, it’s dangerous I guess to enjoy the pleasures of life too much. Dunno why, but I’ve become sortta sceptical over the past couple years about all this sortta stuff. I’ve found that one must be careful when relying on others. I think it was my gran that maybe started it years ago, warning me that I shouldn’t ever let love make me too dependant. But sadly enough, there’s always that loneliness factor. Yes I’m human, and I sense such emotions too (even though I seem pretty cold hearted at times :P ) but yeah, I’ve now after the show today, I’ve deduced that loneliness has got BUGGER ALL to do with the company you keep around you, but people become lonely because they crave the love of others. *shrugs* That’s just the way I reasoned it out in my head. But then, I also somehow got onto another train of thought, does it really pay to love? Your friend one day could be your enemy the next (I’ve seen this happen first hand with Catherine). And sometimes I think, that the only thing you can count on, the only person who'll be there for you at all times, when friends and family fail you... is yourself. Once you see things that way, you'll never be lonely again. Sometimes it seems that being free of love is the greatest source of power and freedom. It also seems that in this world, you can achieve anything if your heart is free. (hence why I walk around all I don’t care about others from time to time) But yeah, that seem a little cold doesn’t it? I mean, lets say in life, you need others to remember you, just so that your life has some meaning. in that case you can’t live your life being all self dependant, you need others there for you, being next to you, and sharing your life every step of the way. And recently, (regardless of the cold “rely ONLY on yourself” stuff I say), I think for once... someone, at least one person in this crazy world would just might remember me, and in a sense, give my life meaning. And it’s in times like that, that I sometimes find it really hard not to love someone back, it’s like it hurts more to not love them back, than it does to love them. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is to be loved, and be loved in return.” ^_^ I guess love truly is the triumph of imagination over intelligence :P

I guess, all this in hindsight, it’s safe to say that the truth of the matter is, humans being humans, and really experiencing everything as we should, our emotions are both our greatest tool, our strength, the very thing that makes it worth getting out of bed in the morning and wanting to LIVE LIFE. But on the flip side, it is also our greatest weakness. Making us weak, slaves, to our hearts bidding. The blood screaming inside of us to do it’s behest.

And what I’ve found, sometimes it’s best to through caution to the wind, and follow your heart ^_^

Emotions are the language of the soul. Listen to yours

Peace out!

2003-05-24T15:23:00.000+03:00

Answers must be song names.

1. Are you male or female?
- Bitch >:) (Meredith Brooks)

2. Describe yourself.
- A Perfect Life (Glen Phillips)

3. How do some people feel about you?
- Angels or Devils (Dishwalla)

4. How do you feel about yourself?
- Tucked Away (Goo Goo DOlls)

5. Describe your interest.
- Rock the Party (SR71)

6. Where would you rather be?
- Take Me Home (Phil COllins)

7. Describe what you want to be.
- The Girl Who Wanted To Be God (Manic Street Preachers)

8. Describe how you live.
- Stranger by The Day (Shades Apart)

9. Describe how you love.
- One Love (U2)

10. Share a few words of wisdom.
- How's It Gonna Be? (Third Eye Blind)

2003-05-20T14:44:00.000+03:00

Gabe

So what Demonology 101 Character Are You?
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2003-05-16T00:14:00.000+03:00

Business minded and a natural leader, you are a canidate to be embraced by the Ventrue clan. You can be rather dominant with a high stamina however, you tend to have obsessive compulsive tendencies...especially when it comes to your food. You are the clan the others look to organize groups and factions. Generally princes are among this clan.

What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?

The Ventrue

Elegant, aristocratic and regal, the Ventrue are the lords of the Camarilla. It was Clan Ventrue that provided the cornerstone of the Camarilla, and it is Clan Ventrue that directs and coaxes the Camarilla in its darkest hours. Even in the modern age, the majority of princes descend from Clan Ventrue. The Ventrue would, of course, have things no other way. In the tradition of noblesse oblige, the Ventrue must lead the other clans for their own good. In ancient nights, Ventrue were chosen from nobles, merchant princes or other wielders of power. In modern times the clan recruits from wealthy "old-money" families, ruthless corporate climbers, and politicians. Although Ventrue move in the same social circles as the Toreador, they do not fritter away their existences in frivolity and idle chatter. The Ventrue proudly wear the privileges of leadership, and stoically bear its burdens. Thus has it always been; thus shall it always be.

2003-05-15T20:39:00.000+03:00

Forum Thread that inspired this piece

What do you believe love is?

Okay, well I realise I’m a little young as is, so my whole experience with matters of the heart aren’t that exactly THAT extensive, but I’m going to answer this in a manner that I think is best.

As for WHAT love is… *refers to dictionary in true scholarly nature* : adore, cherish, relish, enjoy fancy, what ever you want to call is, I believe it can be boiled down to having warm affection, or delight in another person, or action or thing.

I believe it’s both a chemical reaction that occurs in the brain that results along the way into an emotion, through a series of interactions, activities, behaviours, and actions which involves both parties in the connection being made. It’ll start off as a chemical reaction in the brain, releasing endorphins or something like that, making you happy. And what I guess eventually develop into love if this continues, and then it develops into love, in the true link. That feeling you get in the very bottom of your being that filtrates through every part of you, and makes you a happy little life form as a whole ^_^ But I’m no brain-ologist, or whatever, so don’t quote me on that.

Love can occur in many instances. Love for your life. Love for yourself. Love for another being. Love for those of your family. Love for pets. Love for activities that you’re participating in. Love is a virtue that you can have for another thing other than yourself. And it rarely happens that any one of these overlap too much in their reactions they create. And once love is experienced, it can be felt through your mind, your soul, not only your heart.

Of course, here comes the dilemma (in reference to love for another, as in a boy/girl-friend situation) many find that love is so hard to find, because there is no real agreeable definition of love. This can also be thought of on the grounds of something which I had a wandering thought about the other day. How do you know what love truly is until you’ve at least been with every person on the face of the planet. Both male and female. I mean (except for those lucky enough to have a) escaped the whole teenage angst thing which I seem to be still going through ;) (sorry about that) or have b) found their life partner and couldn’t be happier), it sometimes seems that like one day you may say you love one person. But after some time, things move on, that relationship doesn’t work for whatever reasons, and then you find someone new. Then you can sortta compare the feelings you have for that person to those of previous people you have seen, and either stick to what you believe love to be, or redefine your definition of love on account of what has happened. (As I think that perhaps love is far from objective, and falls more into a subjective category) hopefully you understand what I’m trying to say there, I’m not sure if I can define it any better. And then the height of angst, wondering of the person feels the same about you, and then comes the feelings of that finding a person who feels the same, which some people find virtually impossible. One things for certain, love isn’t simple, it isn’t black and white. It got more colours than the rainbow could ever imagine. Things can both go very very well, or frighteningly wrong.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy in the relationship-state I’m in, I’m just pointing out something that I’ve observed from having too much time on my hands, and pestering my friends on subjects like this for too many years ;)

Another thought I had a while back is, is it just me, or does it seem that men have a tendency of falling in love more easily than women. Call me sexist or whatever, but it just seems that I’ve picked up. Maybe I’m interacting with the wrong people, (or possible the right type… depending on how you look at it), or maybe I’m just a little more cold hearted than most others. (also bear in mind that 95% of the people I interact with are male, only constant female interaction that I can have proper conversations with are with my mum, so maybe my view is a little biased), but ya, anyone prepared to give some input into that, I’d appreciate it =)

But from personal experiences, I guess I can conclude that when it comes to love: it’s got nothing to do with what you’re expecting to get, but rather, what you’re willing to give. You’re only really truly alive when you’re in love. It’ll prove your kindness, your patience. It make it easier to forgive, forgetting to keep a record of wrongs. Neglects feelings like jealousy, envy, selfishness, and anger. Never delights in evil, and rejoices in truth. It perseveres, protects, trusts, and will never fail.

Emotions are the language of the soul.
Be careful what you say.

;)

(but not forgetting, my close on signature line: Love is a perky little elf… dancing a merry little jig, when all of a sudden, it turns on you with a miniature machine gun. )

Peace out!

2003-05-10T09:57:00.000+03:00

I'm going CRAZY

Personality Disorder Test *giggle* if you want to see what's wrong with you... take this test!

My complete results:

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Oddly enough, it's pretty much true hey, I'm almost always in a state of paranoia, and I'm so insecure, I avoid most things... (I have mentioned that I'm crazy before, so this shouldn't be a surprise ;)
Complete list of disorders

2003-05-08T22:36:00.000+03:00

I'm Going to Hell!

Dante's Inferno Test - Impurity, Sin... and Damnation, a very thought provoking test I just did!

And it turns out that when it comes to the afterlife, I'm gonna be 'living' in :
First Level of Hell - Limbo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.

And oddly enough, I think I'd be happy there ^_^ All those awesome peeps, I'm gonna spend eternity annoying them all!! :D Mwhahaha, all those minds to pick at ^_^ But ya, even though it is "Hell" it's a level that I think I'd be happy at oddly enough *shrugs* (don't forget I have mentioned before that I'm crazy)

My results:
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Complete list of the 9 levels of Hell as depicted by Dante

2003-05-07T23:47:00.000+03:00

Dead

Okay, just a little warning, this WILL be a whiney post, so only read it if you’re in a happy bubble or something because that’s the only way I think you can actually deal with this o_O

So as some of you might know, my gran (mothers side) died last year. Okay, and for some reason, I was upset and all, but not really to the extent of balling my eyes out like how my mum and aunt did. I think even my dad was a little shaken by the event. Also grandpas and step-gran were also pretty shaken up by it, but I guess I was a little un phased by it all ::shrugs:: Guess I justified it all by saying I had to be the strong one in the house that could answer the phone and deal with pesky relatives who I haven’t heard of since ever, sending condolences, without bursting into tears 3 words into the conversation. After taking the phone from my mum to deal with said relatives for the second or third time of this happening to my mum, I figured I’d answer the phone from then on. ANYWAY, that’s sotta going completely off the topic a bit.

Anyway, sortta tying in with Fire*Star’s little post here the last paragraph, I’m beginning to wonder about me giving a shit about other people on the whole anymore.

What has triggered this thought…

Well I just learnt today, that my step-grandma has slipped into a coma and now the family is waiting for her to die of starvation, (she’s been suffering too long to put her on life support, it sortta seems like the kindest thing to do). And although it’s chronically sad, and I guess I realise that I’m sad for her passing and all, I don’t show it. I mean I took three phone calls tonight, and just general interaction with people as a whole, I was my usual chirpy self.

When other people relatively close to me passed, I sortta did the same thing, accepted it once off, without going through the rest of the grieving process… I mean that has clearly got to be a warning sign.

And just for the record, so I don’t seem like a complete heartless wrench, her passing is quiet sad, and even though I guess we weren’t all that close, it’s always sad to loose a family member. May she go in peace.

Now a rather big concern I have now is that I maybe literally getting so bad at covering up myself (as how pretty much everyone in this world does, like having your true self which remains hidden, and that who you present to the world) that it’s becoming reflex sortta to hide everything. And recent event in my family have just made me aware of this. Well I haven’t gotten to the point where I’ll lie to people about stuff, and if something is bugging me, believe me when I say I’ll say something ^_^ (but that’s just something I’ve developed over the years) but ya, I guess I’m just a little concerned that I’m going to loose myself if I don’t watch it (I think I have to practice showing my emotions – other than happiness) from now on. I mean I’m not sure how it happened, I used to be VERY emotional (nearly on a scary level) and without the aid of drugs or anything like that, I’ve sortta become a monotone type person – set to live wire all the time nearly :P And stuff like accepting grievances once off, has become only the tip of the ice berg of what’s been bothering me recently. So ya, I guess I’m gonna try get a little more in touch with my emotional side… just a little, not a lot, but enough to well I guess show someone I love them when I’m feeling it :) ::tries not to sound all stupid:: I mean not only will it be best for others, (like some people I’ve landed up hiding my feelings… almost without realising it… weird, I know) and myself on the whole ^_^

Okay, that’s it for now. I’ve finished my little rant.
*peace out*

2003-04-29T01:23:00.000+03:00

Source Code to Life

//(well I had to find it eventually!!) ;)

/* life.cpp
last revised: I B.C.
by God
released under version 1.0 of the DPL (Divine Public License) */

#include
#include
#include "divine_word.h"
#include "life.h"
//#include "meaning.h" // weird. it will not compile cleanly with this here.
// oh well. implement in version 2

int main(int argc, char *argv[])
{
Species s;
Gender g;
Name n;
NigglingBits nb;
int sp;

divine_word::parseArgs(argc, *argv[], *s, *g, *n ,*nb, *sp);

sp = salloc() // pointer to the soul

life::Being(sp, g, n, nb, *s) // constructor for Being
life::Being.childhood; // whee!
life::Being.adolescence; // angst. lots of angst.
life::Being.adulthood; // doin' the 9 to 5
life::Being.senescence; // kid! get me my Depends, for chrissakes!
life::~Being(life::deathMethod[rand() * MAXINT]);
// destructor. note that there are 32767 ways to die, in a 16-bit universe.
// deallocation of the soul occurs here.

exit(0); // that's all. nothing to see here.

// nota bene: hopefully there have been no soul leaks.
// remember to debug this with ElectricFence Purgatorio
}

2003-04-24T05:00:00.000+03:00

Soul Mates

Well ya, Fire*Star and myself got chatting earlier on some rather interesting topics, one of which was that of soul mates.

And I figured that since I’m suffering from a bit of insomnia here I’d just put down some of my thoughts on the matter while I still have it in my mind.

In the beginning, people had two heads and four arms, and the like. Some people were male-female, some male-male, and some were female-female, others were a combination of the two, and the only word we have left to describe them is "androgynous". These double-people decided to make war against the gods, or the gods were jealous of their love, and eventually Zeus used his lightening bolts to divide the double-people. He gave people the "correct" number of limbs, while also splitting their very souls in half. When they woke up, and realized what had happened, they clung to their other half, trying to reconnect like they had been tied before. Well eventually these two halves were lost to each other as they no longer had their better half to keep them in line or complete them. In short they were pretty much half-brained. And so it began that these souls were to roam the earth in search of their other halves.

Cute hey? ^_^

Well in reality, we all want to find that person who makes us feel complete, who understands all our little quirks, who loves us regardless because to deny that love would be to deny life itself. The soul mate reality is something that every human being craves- we want someone who will know us better than we know ourselves, someone that just by holding us chases all the demons away, someone who would rather cut off a limb that hurt us. It's as a friend of mine once put it "achingly rare" but it is something achingly real. May we all be blessed enough to find our other halves.

Now another concept I’ve heard of is that of life bonds. See, while soul mates are usually described as people being very alike in feelings and motivation. They work very well together for common goals. They have a connection of purpose and a similarity in thinking. Their skills complement each others so that together they accomplish more and are stronger/better than if they worked individually toward the same goal. But soul mates aren’t necessarily a permanent connection and they could be with several people. However, Life bonds take "soul mate" one step further. Life bonds are hard to explain, sortta like a telepathic link between the two. Before they can be life bonded, they must be soul mates first. They are linked together mentally, emotionally and constantly. They are a permanent one on one connection…till death do they part. The creation of a life bond is a matter of choice. It doesn’t just happen.

The drawbacks to life bonding includes:
*If they are separated from each other, they feel incomplete, not whole.
* Long term separation can lead to mental instability or insanity because one balances the other’s strengths and weaknesses emotionally and physically.
* If one of a bonded pair dies, it can cause a deep depression to the point of suicide. The remaining survivor has trouble adapting and balancing themselves.

Some things that life bonds aren’t:
* They are not mind reading skills. They send strong impressions or emotions.
* They are still separate people capable of misunderstandings.
* Life bonds cause a lot of stress and misunderstanding because they are so close emotionally, they forget to communicate verbally.
* Having secrets between a life bonded pair causes a lot of frustration and pain between them.

And although the theory might sound all fluffy and happy, the sad reality is that hardly everyone ever meets their soul mate, but ya, I guess it's inevitable that you'll meet your soul mate, and when you do, you'll know it, and so will they, there’s no two ways around that, so no worries that maybe you’ll miss them. I dunno, I find it consoling like there's a whole point to this mess called life :P And even if you don’t find then this round of life, there’s always the next life or the next to find them.

Peace Out ^_^

2003-04-18T00:57:00.000+03:00

Oh ya, Fire*Star did a little thing recently where you place a song to a person of action… I think I’m gonna put my hand to it.

People:
Fire*Star: Red Hot Chilli Peppers – “Californication” (or anything from RHCP or Linkin Park)
Intjies: Pink - Don't Let Me Get Me (or anything by Pink)
Peter: Imperial March from Star Wars :P
Ricky: Ricky Martin - Livin' La Vida Loca (Anything by Ricky Martin. I never investigated this very far, but R.Martin is his favourite artist o_O)
Austin: The Verve – Bittersweet Symphony
Jeremy: A Ha – Take On Me
James: Metallica - Sandman
Neels: Lou Bega – I Gotta Girl
Adam: Delerium – Silence
Mark: R.E.M. – New Test Leper (R.E.M. is his fave, and he really loved this song)
Brian: Jimmy Eat World – Evil Number One :P
Anyone I missed, I appologise, I guess I just don’t know you well enough to put a song to you.

Actions:
On Computer: Bon Jovi - Say It Isn't So (especially when having doing assignements)
Veggin at RAU: Hoku – Perfect Day
Peeved: Mad at Gravity – Walk Away
In wuv: John Mayer – Your Body Is A Wonderland (more like in a mood randomly pinning because I love life for those 5 minutes, and that is afterall the ultimate foreplay song ^_^)
Outta Love: Tonic- You Wanted More
Drawing: Our Lady Peace – Somewhere Out There
Cooking: Busted – Year 3000 (For some strange strange reason)
Philosophising: Third Eye Blind – Jumper, or 3EB Thanks A Lot (THIRD EYE BLIND all the way!)
Listening to music… lol, just kidding.

^_^

laterz

2003-04-15T00:44:00.000+03:00

Beauty

I was just having a little thought about this today.

Not to sound vain or anything, but my goodness, there are some pretty ugly people in this world, and you can see this by how much they hate themselves because they try and hide themselves behind this image of this or that - trying to fit a mould as it were. And I was thinking about my closest group of friend (Fire*Star, Intjies and all of them great guys) and you know what, my little group is actually fortunate enough to have some pretty good looking people in it ^_^ (excluding me, because I refuse to judge myself in this context) But as I said before, I don’t wanna sound vain, I mean I’m not exactly all fixated on physical qualities, but I just had a fleeting thought about it today.

I mean I can’t actually say that a single person in our little group is “bad looking”, but they aren’t exactly Mr Universe material (sorry guys ;) but ya, just good looking in their own way *shrugs* dunno if it was because I was noticing all the unfortunate looking peeps today.

Now here comes my little thought, *emphasis on the little* is it because I’ve been with these peeps for a pretty long time now, and it’s not like these guys make it their life’s mission to look their best, but it’s more like after looking so closely at their uniqueness, the qualities that make them strange, or distinctive, or complicated, that actually makes them spectacular and stunning.

So people, here’s the thought for your day, be yourselves, and be beautiful!!

*scampers off*

2003-04-15T00:33:00.000+03:00

Okay, I saw this and I couldn't pass it up not posting it here ^_^

The temperatures of Heaven and Hell

The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority is Isaiah 30:26, "Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days." Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much radiation as we do from the Sun, and in addition 7*7 (49) times as much as the Earth does from the Sun, or 50 times in all. The light we receive from the Moon is one 1/10,000 of the light we receive from the Sun, so we can ignore that ... The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation, i.e., Heaven loses 50 times as much
heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for radiation, (_ H/_ E)^4 = 50, where _ E is the absolute temperature of the earth (-300K), gives _ H as 798K (525C). The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed ... [However] Revelations 21:8 says "But the fearful, and unbelieving ... shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, 444.6C. We have, then, that Heaven, at 525C is hotter than Hell at 445C.
-- From "Applied Optics" vol. 11, A14, 1972

*falls over in hysterics* :D

2003-03-29T19:36:00.000+02:00

Forgiveness

I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently.

Now I’ve been re-writing this a few times over, so ya, excuse if it gets a little whiney, but I’ve been trying to avoid that.

Now where to begin… well with recent happenings to me, I’ve been thinking about the repercussions of truly forgiving someone who has hurt, or caused you pain at some point.

It’s all good and well that the once you have forgiven someone, you can pretty much interact with them without feelings of hate or grief, to be at peace with someone once again. This generally relies on inner forgiveness, and acceptance, and all that other fuzzy lovey-dovey stuff.

But what I have been experiencing with someone who I’ve been interacting with, where much forgiveness had to be given, for either one of us to look the other in the eye ever again (yes, I am admitting I was also a guilty party, it takes two to tango after all), but ya, after all forgiveness has been made, and emotional wounds have been healed, with the least amount of wounds left, it nearly seems like whatever misdemeanours that previously occurred, no longer exist.

As if they never were.

Is this a good thing?
Is this a bad thing?

That’s what I’ve been trying to think about. I mean, unfortunately for me, I think too much, so when left alone for long periods of time, I can get pretty deep into thought (I think I even got lost in thought once… very unfamiliar territory), and I think about how far myself and the person that has inspired this have come since offence occurred. And in all honesty, it still hurts a little.

Which is good in a way, I guess as a reminder, not to allow history to repeat itself. (and there’s nothing ever wrong with that)

So here comes my thought. If to forgive someone means to cease to hold blame or resentment. And that’s the thing, I have no resentment. Nor do I hold blame, or any other such emotion or action.

But sadly, there are other factors that are involved, and I apologise if I sound whiney here.

But right now, in my life, my heart is screaming for me to do one thing, but my brain is cautioning me to not do anything rash. And all this from finding inner peace that comes with forgiveness.
Odd.